Wednesday, September 9, 2015
Friday, August 7, 2015
Kindergarten
I still remember my first ultrasound. Laying on the bed and looking at the monitor. As soon as there was an image of a little baby I was shocked. I shouted, "there's a baby in there!" Of course I knew I was pregnant from the 4 positive tests I had but I didn't really believe it until I saw that little baby dancing around in there.
When I was in the hospital getting ready to have my first little boy there were a few scary moments. When his heart rate dropped and the doctor had to rush in and when I knew I had to push but the doctor still wasn't there. When my body was ready to push it was hard to stop it, but she got there just in time.
The first time I held him I didn't know what to think or how to feel. I had this little person who relied on me to take care of him. I couldn't take my eyes off him. Laying in my arms he was so handsome and I couldn't believe he was mine.
I remember all his firsts. The first time he smiled, the first time he said mama, his first tooth, and who could forget his first steps. I loved how excited his was the first time he met both his brothers and the first day of preschool. Then there was the first time he painted something and told me he wanted to be an artist.
How could I forget any of his firsts because they were mine too. He was the one who made me a mommy, he made us a family rather than a couple. My first child, my first little boy, and the first time I saw my heart outside of my chest.
Now we are getting ready for another first and I don't know if I am ready for it. I have fought it tooth and nail but I knew it would happen someday. Well that day is in 5 days. The day my oldest son, my little boy, goes to kindergarten.
I know he is excited. His school bag is packed. His clothes are picked out. He keeps telling me he needs an alarm clock to make sure he wakes up on time. He has met some classmates and in a few days he will meet his new teacher.
Then there is me. I am SO NOT ready for this. My body is filled with anxiety. What is he going to be doing in school? Will he like it? Will he make new friends? Will all the kids be nice to him? Will he like his teacher? Will he miss me?
I know he is strong and smart but this is the first step in getting him ready for the world. So I will go grocery shopping and pick up things to make his lunch. I will get him ready and walk him to the school bus. I will give him a kiss, say a prayer, and wave as he leaves.
I'm hoping that the tears won't start until we are back home. I'm praying that he will have a great day. I'm going to keep myself busy so I won't be staring at the clock.
I am sure when my other boys start kindergarten I will do a lot better but for now it's another first. So if you see me next week make sure I'm not constantly checking my watch. Give me a smile, tell me you understand, and that putting him on the bus tomorrow will be easier.
For now I will snuggle with my little men, give them lots of kisses, and tell them I love them.
When I was in the hospital getting ready to have my first little boy there were a few scary moments. When his heart rate dropped and the doctor had to rush in and when I knew I had to push but the doctor still wasn't there. When my body was ready to push it was hard to stop it, but she got there just in time.
The first time I held him I didn't know what to think or how to feel. I had this little person who relied on me to take care of him. I couldn't take my eyes off him. Laying in my arms he was so handsome and I couldn't believe he was mine.
I remember all his firsts. The first time he smiled, the first time he said mama, his first tooth, and who could forget his first steps. I loved how excited his was the first time he met both his brothers and the first day of preschool. Then there was the first time he painted something and told me he wanted to be an artist.
How could I forget any of his firsts because they were mine too. He was the one who made me a mommy, he made us a family rather than a couple. My first child, my first little boy, and the first time I saw my heart outside of my chest.
Now we are getting ready for another first and I don't know if I am ready for it. I have fought it tooth and nail but I knew it would happen someday. Well that day is in 5 days. The day my oldest son, my little boy, goes to kindergarten.
I know he is excited. His school bag is packed. His clothes are picked out. He keeps telling me he needs an alarm clock to make sure he wakes up on time. He has met some classmates and in a few days he will meet his new teacher.
Then there is me. I am SO NOT ready for this. My body is filled with anxiety. What is he going to be doing in school? Will he like it? Will he make new friends? Will all the kids be nice to him? Will he like his teacher? Will he miss me?
I know he is strong and smart but this is the first step in getting him ready for the world. So I will go grocery shopping and pick up things to make his lunch. I will get him ready and walk him to the school bus. I will give him a kiss, say a prayer, and wave as he leaves.
I'm hoping that the tears won't start until we are back home. I'm praying that he will have a great day. I'm going to keep myself busy so I won't be staring at the clock.
I am sure when my other boys start kindergarten I will do a lot better but for now it's another first. So if you see me next week make sure I'm not constantly checking my watch. Give me a smile, tell me you understand, and that putting him on the bus tomorrow will be easier.
For now I will snuggle with my little men, give them lots of kisses, and tell them I love them.
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
Mom of boys
God knew what He was doing when He made me to be a mom of boys. When I was little I always dreamed of having 3 boys and a little girl. I couldn't wait. During my first pregnancy I quickly learned that it was not likely I would be able to have 4 children and still have a family that loved me.
I kinda go a little crazy during pregnancy. I basically become a big emotional ball of nervous anxiety. I will be honest I am lucky I was able to make it through 3 pregnancies and still have my family take my phone calls.
During my first pregnancy when we learned we were having a boy we were so excited. I couldn't wait to see him. I thought about the sports he would play and how he would take after his daddy.
During my second pregnancy when we learned he was a boy I was a little sad but I still couldn't wait to meet him. Again I thought all about what he would be like and they things he would accomplish.
During my final pregnancy we were for sure we were going to have a girl. Everything felt so different, but in the back of my head I heard the nurse saying, "every pregnancy is different." When we found out we were once again having a boy I cried. I will be honest I was disappointed. I was in shock and my last hope of having a little girl was gone. I told everyone I was excited, that I was good not having a girl. I talked about how I wouldn't have to worry about the girl drama, hormones, and periods, ect. Inside though I was sad.
Of course when he was born everything changed. I couldn't imagine my life without my little redheaded baby boy. I wouldn't trade him for ANYTHING.
There is still a little bit of disappointment though, a little wish that I could try again. Every time I hear that someone is pregnant I have a little twinge of jealously. Not to be pregnant but for the fact that they may have a girl.
The older my sons get the happier I am that I have boys. They love their mommy! I love being able to build with them, play in the dirt with them, watch superheroes, capture bugs, make messes, and just have fun.
I was made to be a mom of boys. That disappointment of not having a girl, it's slowly going away.
So here is my advice to a mom who has multiple boys or knows someone who does:
DO stock up on band-aids. I know my little boys are rough and tumble boys, half the time I don't know where they get all the bruises and scrapes.
DO have a room for yourself in your house. This is where you can decorate as girly as you want. You don't have to worry about what your husband or sons think this room is just for you. Also it's a great place to go with the testosterone in the house gets too high.
DO take some time to pamper yourself. Take a bath, relax with a book, get your hair or nails done. When you have nothing but boys at home it is easy to get caught up in their craziness, just taking a little bit of time to pamper yourself goes a long way.
DO NOT under any circumstances talk about how important it is to you that you have a little girl and how special the bond between a mother and daughter is. Before I knew any better I talked about it and when I was pregnant with my third a friend talked about it.
A mom of boys won't have that so don't make upset her by talking about it!
DO NOT ask a mom with all boys if she is going to try again for a girl. First of all if I were to try again for a baby I would be aiming at a healthy one not a specific sex. Sure it would be nice to hear "its a girl," but as long as I hear, "everything is healthy," I don't care. Second, three boys is enough for me and it is not really a comfortable situation explaining why I am not having any more babies. Just don't ask.
Remember sons love their mom. Raise them to be good men who follow their hearts and their beliefs. Raise them to be kind and loving, they are the ones who will be providing you with daughters in law and you want to raise them right so they pick good women. Cherish your time with them don't think about what you are missing but focus on what you have. Most of all LOVE them with all you have.
I kinda go a little crazy during pregnancy. I basically become a big emotional ball of nervous anxiety. I will be honest I am lucky I was able to make it through 3 pregnancies and still have my family take my phone calls.
During my first pregnancy when we learned we were having a boy we were so excited. I couldn't wait to see him. I thought about the sports he would play and how he would take after his daddy.
During my second pregnancy when we learned he was a boy I was a little sad but I still couldn't wait to meet him. Again I thought all about what he would be like and they things he would accomplish.
During my final pregnancy we were for sure we were going to have a girl. Everything felt so different, but in the back of my head I heard the nurse saying, "every pregnancy is different." When we found out we were once again having a boy I cried. I will be honest I was disappointed. I was in shock and my last hope of having a little girl was gone. I told everyone I was excited, that I was good not having a girl. I talked about how I wouldn't have to worry about the girl drama, hormones, and periods, ect. Inside though I was sad.
Of course when he was born everything changed. I couldn't imagine my life without my little redheaded baby boy. I wouldn't trade him for ANYTHING.
There is still a little bit of disappointment though, a little wish that I could try again. Every time I hear that someone is pregnant I have a little twinge of jealously. Not to be pregnant but for the fact that they may have a girl.
The older my sons get the happier I am that I have boys. They love their mommy! I love being able to build with them, play in the dirt with them, watch superheroes, capture bugs, make messes, and just have fun.
I was made to be a mom of boys. That disappointment of not having a girl, it's slowly going away.
So here is my advice to a mom who has multiple boys or knows someone who does:
DO stock up on band-aids. I know my little boys are rough and tumble boys, half the time I don't know where they get all the bruises and scrapes.
DO have a room for yourself in your house. This is where you can decorate as girly as you want. You don't have to worry about what your husband or sons think this room is just for you. Also it's a great place to go with the testosterone in the house gets too high.
DO take some time to pamper yourself. Take a bath, relax with a book, get your hair or nails done. When you have nothing but boys at home it is easy to get caught up in their craziness, just taking a little bit of time to pamper yourself goes a long way.
DO NOT under any circumstances talk about how important it is to you that you have a little girl and how special the bond between a mother and daughter is. Before I knew any better I talked about it and when I was pregnant with my third a friend talked about it.
A mom of boys won't have that so don't make upset her by talking about it!
DO NOT ask a mom with all boys if she is going to try again for a girl. First of all if I were to try again for a baby I would be aiming at a healthy one not a specific sex. Sure it would be nice to hear "its a girl," but as long as I hear, "everything is healthy," I don't care. Second, three boys is enough for me and it is not really a comfortable situation explaining why I am not having any more babies. Just don't ask.
Remember sons love their mom. Raise them to be good men who follow their hearts and their beliefs. Raise them to be kind and loving, they are the ones who will be providing you with daughters in law and you want to raise them right so they pick good women. Cherish your time with them don't think about what you are missing but focus on what you have. Most of all LOVE them with all you have.
Follow Me:
YouTube: Get Moving Mom
Instagram: amanda91504
Twitter: @Amanda91504m
pintrest:amanda91504
facebook: Get Moving Mom
Wednesday, July 22, 2015
To Be A Better Mom
I had someone ask me where I have been for the last two weeks so I thought I would explain.
I decided it was time to take steps to being a better mom.
I am not saying I was not a good mom but I knew I could be better. Recently I shared that I have been dealing with PPD or Postpartum Depression. I would have times where I thought I was getting better and times that I didn't leave the couch all day. With 3 kids at home that is not something I wanted to be doing. I knew it was time to do something about it.
Not long after Colin was born I did talk to my doctor about my PPD and I was prescribed a medication to help. I was determined not to take it. I figured I could fix it by myself. I looked at medication as a band aid just covering up a wound and I wanted to heal it.
There were times that I felt so bad that I would pull out the prescription and just look at it. I refused to take it though. To me that was throwing in the towel, giving up and saying I couldn't fix myself. If I could just eat right and exercise I would be OK, but it's not easy to do those things when you feel extremely discouraged and have NO motivation.
When I spent a full day in the state of fear and anxiety I decided enough was enough. I was not living I was just making it through the day. I was always looking for something that would fix me (or distract me). The problem was that I couldn't hold on to any motivation. I also started to see my son having some anxiety problems. I wanted to stop the cycle.
For so long I used the excuse that I didn't want to use medication to get better because I was nursing. I was using my children as my excuse not to do something but now I needed them to be the reason I did do something.
I started taking steps to getting help by talking to a friend who went through the same thing. She encouraged me to talk to the doctor again and get started on getting better. Next I called my doctor, it had been it had been 9 months since I talked to her about my PPD.
It has been 2 1/2 weeks since I decided to make a change. I was told that I would not really notice a difference and that it could take about a month to feel better. Here is what I am noticing already.
I am not constantly afraid of EVERYTHING. I feel like I used to be in a constant state of fear but now I feel quite relaxed. It's pretty nice.
I have patience again. I was at the point where I had no patience and everything made me irritable.
I am enjoying some of my favorite things again. My poor family had been surviving on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for a while. It is nice to be cooking and quilting again!
I am having more fun with my kids. They are the reason I decided to do this. I was at the point where I felt like I was just a shadow in their lives. Now we are playing and making projects. I having a blast watching them and not dwelling on my anxieties.
The only downside I have found is that I am exhausted. This is a side effect that will hopefully go away soon and it is way better than the way I was feeling before. This is also one of the reasons I have be absent for the past few weeks. I wanted to take some time to focus on myself and my family.
I did not take this decision lightly and thought about it for a very long time. I am happy that I decided to make this change and I can't wait to see how things will continue to change and get better.
If you or someone you know is going through any form of depression take the steps to get better. It does not make you weak. I actually had someone tell me how strong I was for how long I tried to do it with out medication. I now feel I am strong for choosing my family and their needs over my stubbornness. I can be a better mom, a better wife, and a better me.
My journey is not over. Now comes the time when I fix all the problems my PPD caused, like my lack of exercise and weight gain. So stay tuned and follow my journey I see amazing things happening in my future.
Follow me:
Facebook-get moving mom
Instagram-amanda91504
pintrest-amanda91504
twitter-amanda91504m
YouTube-Get Moving Mom
I decided it was time to take steps to being a better mom.
I am not saying I was not a good mom but I knew I could be better. Recently I shared that I have been dealing with PPD or Postpartum Depression. I would have times where I thought I was getting better and times that I didn't leave the couch all day. With 3 kids at home that is not something I wanted to be doing. I knew it was time to do something about it.
Not long after Colin was born I did talk to my doctor about my PPD and I was prescribed a medication to help. I was determined not to take it. I figured I could fix it by myself. I looked at medication as a band aid just covering up a wound and I wanted to heal it.
There were times that I felt so bad that I would pull out the prescription and just look at it. I refused to take it though. To me that was throwing in the towel, giving up and saying I couldn't fix myself. If I could just eat right and exercise I would be OK, but it's not easy to do those things when you feel extremely discouraged and have NO motivation.
When I spent a full day in the state of fear and anxiety I decided enough was enough. I was not living I was just making it through the day. I was always looking for something that would fix me (or distract me). The problem was that I couldn't hold on to any motivation. I also started to see my son having some anxiety problems. I wanted to stop the cycle.
For so long I used the excuse that I didn't want to use medication to get better because I was nursing. I was using my children as my excuse not to do something but now I needed them to be the reason I did do something.
I started taking steps to getting help by talking to a friend who went through the same thing. She encouraged me to talk to the doctor again and get started on getting better. Next I called my doctor, it had been it had been 9 months since I talked to her about my PPD.
It has been 2 1/2 weeks since I decided to make a change. I was told that I would not really notice a difference and that it could take about a month to feel better. Here is what I am noticing already.
I am not constantly afraid of EVERYTHING. I feel like I used to be in a constant state of fear but now I feel quite relaxed. It's pretty nice.
I have patience again. I was at the point where I had no patience and everything made me irritable.
I am enjoying some of my favorite things again. My poor family had been surviving on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for a while. It is nice to be cooking and quilting again!
I am having more fun with my kids. They are the reason I decided to do this. I was at the point where I felt like I was just a shadow in their lives. Now we are playing and making projects. I having a blast watching them and not dwelling on my anxieties.
The only downside I have found is that I am exhausted. This is a side effect that will hopefully go away soon and it is way better than the way I was feeling before. This is also one of the reasons I have be absent for the past few weeks. I wanted to take some time to focus on myself and my family.
I did not take this decision lightly and thought about it for a very long time. I am happy that I decided to make this change and I can't wait to see how things will continue to change and get better.
If you or someone you know is going through any form of depression take the steps to get better. It does not make you weak. I actually had someone tell me how strong I was for how long I tried to do it with out medication. I now feel I am strong for choosing my family and their needs over my stubbornness. I can be a better mom, a better wife, and a better me.
My journey is not over. Now comes the time when I fix all the problems my PPD caused, like my lack of exercise and weight gain. So stay tuned and follow my journey I see amazing things happening in my future.
Follow me:
Facebook-get moving mom
Instagram-amanda91504
pintrest-amanda91504
twitter-amanda91504m
YouTube-Get Moving Mom
Thursday, July 2, 2015
Naughty Turned Nice: Paleo Treats Review
NO!
What I am talking about is Naughty Turned Nice Paleo Sweets and Treats by Nancy Beechy. Nancy has always be active and healthy. Years ago she made a change for the better when she decided to change her eating habits to a Paleo lifestyle. She has not looked back since. When she made this change she went all in, that included the way she looked at sweets.
So many of the sweets we love are loaded with sugar, flour, and preservatives. On the flip side are the diet desserts. These desserts are still full of preservatives but instead of sugar they use artificial sweeteners.
All Naughty Turned Nice products are made with local, fresh, and organic ingredients. The first time you taste her Paleo Party Mix you can definitely taste the care she puts into her ingredients. She uses organic and local ingredients and you can taste the difference.
I tried five different products from her, these are the only ones that can ship at this time. The first thing that I tried was her primal brownie. It is made with zucchini, bittersweet chocolate, local honey, and chocolate liquor giving it the perfect combination of bittersweet with a hint of spice (I think either nutmeg or allspice.) If you are looking for something to satisfy a sweet craving but don't want something too sweet this is a great place to start.
The next thing I tried was her Paleo party mix. This is the one I hear about a lot and I kinda had high expectations. Let me tell you, I was not let down. As soon as I took a bite I knew I had to have Steve try it, even though I really didn't want to share. He is very critical and he loved it. I put it into the refrigerator as she recommended and I am sure it made a huge difference. It is a combination of nuts, seeds, and honey. The first bite I took seemed to melt into my mouth. I can see how this is one of her biggest sellers and I know I will personally be coming back for more!
I also tried her Paleo Party Mix with raisins and another with cacao and spice. Both these versions were just as delicious as the first.
The last thing I tried was her Primal Cereal. You know those almonds that you often smell during the winter, the tasty ones that are roasted with cinnamon and sugar. Well that is what I was reminded of when I tried this cereal. The cinnamon was one of the first things that I noticed and it woke up my taste buds. I indulged a bit more than I was planning with these special treats but I have to say that I like knowing that these items are as healthy for me as they are delicious.
While these were the only treats I was able to try today they are not the only ones she creates. I can't wait to try the doughnuts and cheesecake. If you are in the Chicago land area I definitely recommend locating her at her local farmers market, when you are there make sure you try her Paleo Party Mix. If you are not in the Chicagoland area make sure you check out her website and give the products a try. You will be hooked and don't worry if you have a gluten intolerance or are just trying to avoid it, all the Naughty Turned Nice products are gluten free.
One more thing I noticed about Nancy's Naughty Turned Nice products was there packaging. All the packaging is eco friendly and recyclable. With these treats there is nothing to feel guilty about!
Contact or Follow Nancy at:
Facebook: Naughty Turned Nice Sweets and Treats
Website: http://www.naughtyturnednice.com/
Follow me:
Facebook: Get Moving Mom
Instagram: Amanda91504
Pintrest: Amanda91504
YouTube: Get Moving Mom- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkRo-KrjQ5Mc_gleFGeqpsg
Wednesday, June 24, 2015
RIP Mint Chocolate Chip
On Sunday June 21, 2015 I went out to our garage to get ice cream from the freezer. It was Father's Day and we had just finished a smoked rib dinner, the ice cream was dessert. It never made it to our bowls.
When I opened up the freezer I discovered thawed ice cream and soft packages of meat. I grabbed the ice cream and carried it inside to break the news to my family.
At one point during the weekend, we don't know when, the temperature on our freezer was turned all the way up thawing everything in it. It was a sad day but the worst was yet to come.
The next day it was up to me, a person totally freaked out about meat juice, to clean up the lost meat and freezer. A full blown panic attack would soon ensue.
Monday morning, June 22, 2015, I entered the garage full of dread and determination. Slowly I opened the freezer hoping that maybe it cleaned itself during the night. It didn't. The smell of thawed corn was overwhelming. I need to work fast, especially since the baby discovered I left the room and is crying hysterically on the other side of the door.
I begin taking everything out, cringing each time I touch the still thawed meat. I did not think about the fact that the freezer itself needed to refreeze so much of the food was still thawed. The smell is starting to be a bit much, the baby is hitting the door, and my hands are covered in meat juice. Then I look at the bottom of the freezer.
On the bottom of the freezer is a frozen pool of meat juice. At this point I start to feel a little dizzy and see stars circling my head. Quickly I put the bad meat in a big bag and put it back into the freezer until garbage day tomorrow. As I put the bag back a whoosh of meat juice mist hits my face, at least that is what I imagine it is.
Enter full on panic mode. I grab the clorox wipes and wipe of my hands and arms. I enter the house and rush to the bathroom, sorry Colin, I need to clean my face. Oh my gosh, I have meat juice all over me and it is already making me sick. I am dying!! My heart is racing. I am dizzy. Seriously I am about to pass out! I wash my arms, hands, and face. I need to make sure I will be ok, so I call the only person who can calm me down at this point. My dad.
After being reassured that I did not get meat juice sprayed into my face, it did not get into my eyes, and I am not going to get sick, I go about my day. Tomorrow I need to finish cleaning out the freezer.
Tuesday June 23, 2015, I reenter the garage determined to finish cleaning the freezer and move all the bad meat to the curb. After putting all the good meat into coolers so it won't go bad, I pull out the huge bag of bad meat. I drag the heavy bag through the grass to the waiting garbage can. Bending at the knees I heft the bag into the can. Thankful that I am done with this part, I slowly turn back to the garage where the freezer waits.
I have to syke myself up a little before I open the freezer lid. I grab my gallon of HOT bleach water and slowly start pouring it in, I don't want it to splash up today. I run back in the house to get more water. Coming back out I discover, much to my relief, that the plugs were never put back into the bottom of the freezer. The nasty water is running out and I don't have to touch anything. Score!
Finally the freezer is clean. It smells like a swimming pool, but at least it is clean. Right?! The last part of this clean up is to clean the garage floor. Are you kidding me!? Now there is meat juice all over the floor. Why didn't I think about this before! Grabbing the hose and a push brush I clean the garage floor. Finally I am done!
Tuesday evening. Upon entering the garage to pull fresh meat from the freezer I make a troubling discovery. A carton of ice cream was left out the night before and there is no hope of saving it. With a heavy heart I throw it into the garbage. Rest in peace you delicious mint chocolate chip ice cream, you will be missed!
Follow me:
Instagram: amanda91504
pintrest: amanda91504
YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrJGBpXda72ctIaukK0EQow
When I opened up the freezer I discovered thawed ice cream and soft packages of meat. I grabbed the ice cream and carried it inside to break the news to my family.
At one point during the weekend, we don't know when, the temperature on our freezer was turned all the way up thawing everything in it. It was a sad day but the worst was yet to come.
The next day it was up to me, a person totally freaked out about meat juice, to clean up the lost meat and freezer. A full blown panic attack would soon ensue.
Monday morning, June 22, 2015, I entered the garage full of dread and determination. Slowly I opened the freezer hoping that maybe it cleaned itself during the night. It didn't. The smell of thawed corn was overwhelming. I need to work fast, especially since the baby discovered I left the room and is crying hysterically on the other side of the door.
I begin taking everything out, cringing each time I touch the still thawed meat. I did not think about the fact that the freezer itself needed to refreeze so much of the food was still thawed. The smell is starting to be a bit much, the baby is hitting the door, and my hands are covered in meat juice. Then I look at the bottom of the freezer.
On the bottom of the freezer is a frozen pool of meat juice. At this point I start to feel a little dizzy and see stars circling my head. Quickly I put the bad meat in a big bag and put it back into the freezer until garbage day tomorrow. As I put the bag back a whoosh of meat juice mist hits my face, at least that is what I imagine it is.
Enter full on panic mode. I grab the clorox wipes and wipe of my hands and arms. I enter the house and rush to the bathroom, sorry Colin, I need to clean my face. Oh my gosh, I have meat juice all over me and it is already making me sick. I am dying!! My heart is racing. I am dizzy. Seriously I am about to pass out! I wash my arms, hands, and face. I need to make sure I will be ok, so I call the only person who can calm me down at this point. My dad.
After being reassured that I did not get meat juice sprayed into my face, it did not get into my eyes, and I am not going to get sick, I go about my day. Tomorrow I need to finish cleaning out the freezer.
Tuesday June 23, 2015, I reenter the garage determined to finish cleaning the freezer and move all the bad meat to the curb. After putting all the good meat into coolers so it won't go bad, I pull out the huge bag of bad meat. I drag the heavy bag through the grass to the waiting garbage can. Bending at the knees I heft the bag into the can. Thankful that I am done with this part, I slowly turn back to the garage where the freezer waits.
I have to syke myself up a little before I open the freezer lid. I grab my gallon of HOT bleach water and slowly start pouring it in, I don't want it to splash up today. I run back in the house to get more water. Coming back out I discover, much to my relief, that the plugs were never put back into the bottom of the freezer. The nasty water is running out and I don't have to touch anything. Score!
Finally the freezer is clean. It smells like a swimming pool, but at least it is clean. Right?! The last part of this clean up is to clean the garage floor. Are you kidding me!? Now there is meat juice all over the floor. Why didn't I think about this before! Grabbing the hose and a push brush I clean the garage floor. Finally I am done!
Tuesday evening. Upon entering the garage to pull fresh meat from the freezer I make a troubling discovery. A carton of ice cream was left out the night before and there is no hope of saving it. With a heavy heart I throw it into the garbage. Rest in peace you delicious mint chocolate chip ice cream, you will be missed!
Follow me:
Instagram: amanda91504
pintrest: amanda91504
YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrJGBpXda72ctIaukK0EQow
Saturday, June 13, 2015
Food addiction
Where do I begin? I feel like I have always struggled with my weight and what I eat. I will be honest I love food. I love the way it tastes, I love the way it smells, and I love the way it looks. What I don't love is how I feel after I eat. I am an emotional eater. The more stressed I become the more I seem to eat. I then become stressed and upset about my weight and how I look. I then eat because I feel so crappy. It is a very damaging cycle.
I have tried limiting what I ate, that didn't work. I tried cutting out foods, it made me want them even more. I feel frustrated, disappointed, and embarrassed with myself. I know that losing weight and getting healthy is not always an easy thing to do but it is what I went to school for, it is a passion of mine, and I have done it before.
If I know all these things why am I struggling so much right now?
When I lost all the weight before I was overworked, overstressed, and depressed. What I was eating was the only thing I could control. Now I feel like I can't control anything. This past week has been the worst. We went to a wedding last week. I feel like all I did was eat. I had cake, cookies, pizza, fruit, pop, and salad. The salad was awesome so it makes me mad that I didn't stick with just that.
This week I decided I am going to put different diets to the test. Which one will work best for me. The only problem with that is, I then had the mindset that I had freedom to eat whatever I wanted until Monday when I start.
All this does is make me more depressed. So what do I do? How do I get out of this rut? I want to start living my life and stop watching it pass me by. I want to be able to enjoy things and not be exhausted all the time. I want to feel confident and beautiful. I want to be happy with who I am.
I want to run and play with my children.
This is the part where I plan. First step is to get motivated. If you have ever been depressed you know that this is something that is hard to do. So instead I will set a goal. My first goal is 30 minutes of exercise every day. Sounds simple enough right. Throw 3 little kids in the mix and it is not so easy. This is where step two comes into play.
Get up early to work out. Thinking about getting up early after staying up late doesn't sound like fun but I know it will be worth it and hopefully I will start going to bed earlier. My goal is to wake up at 6 am everyday! Wow 6 sounds really early. Funny thing is, I am usually up around this time. I will lay in bed for a bit praying the kids sleep a little longer, playing on my phone, or just trying to go back to sleep. Instead I need to start getting up.
My last step right now is to fight my food addictions. The first one I am fighting is sugar. I know I can do this. I know I can beat this. Two weeks with no sugar is no big deal. Oh but we have Colin's birthday party! That should be fun! I have already planned all the yummy sweet things I will be making. Luckily I have some healthy options and it is at the end of my sugar detox.
I need encouragement. I need motivation. They say it takes a community. Right now I need one. I ask that you will walk beside me. Keep pushing me, even when I push back. Guide me, lead me, support me!
I have tried limiting what I ate, that didn't work. I tried cutting out foods, it made me want them even more. I feel frustrated, disappointed, and embarrassed with myself. I know that losing weight and getting healthy is not always an easy thing to do but it is what I went to school for, it is a passion of mine, and I have done it before.
If I know all these things why am I struggling so much right now?
When I lost all the weight before I was overworked, overstressed, and depressed. What I was eating was the only thing I could control. Now I feel like I can't control anything. This past week has been the worst. We went to a wedding last week. I feel like all I did was eat. I had cake, cookies, pizza, fruit, pop, and salad. The salad was awesome so it makes me mad that I didn't stick with just that.
This week I decided I am going to put different diets to the test. Which one will work best for me. The only problem with that is, I then had the mindset that I had freedom to eat whatever I wanted until Monday when I start.
All this does is make me more depressed. So what do I do? How do I get out of this rut? I want to start living my life and stop watching it pass me by. I want to be able to enjoy things and not be exhausted all the time. I want to feel confident and beautiful. I want to be happy with who I am.
I want to run and play with my children.
This is the part where I plan. First step is to get motivated. If you have ever been depressed you know that this is something that is hard to do. So instead I will set a goal. My first goal is 30 minutes of exercise every day. Sounds simple enough right. Throw 3 little kids in the mix and it is not so easy. This is where step two comes into play.
Get up early to work out. Thinking about getting up early after staying up late doesn't sound like fun but I know it will be worth it and hopefully I will start going to bed earlier. My goal is to wake up at 6 am everyday! Wow 6 sounds really early. Funny thing is, I am usually up around this time. I will lay in bed for a bit praying the kids sleep a little longer, playing on my phone, or just trying to go back to sleep. Instead I need to start getting up.
My last step right now is to fight my food addictions. The first one I am fighting is sugar. I know I can do this. I know I can beat this. Two weeks with no sugar is no big deal. Oh but we have Colin's birthday party! That should be fun! I have already planned all the yummy sweet things I will be making. Luckily I have some healthy options and it is at the end of my sugar detox.
I need encouragement. I need motivation. They say it takes a community. Right now I need one. I ask that you will walk beside me. Keep pushing me, even when I push back. Guide me, lead me, support me!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)