There are days that I feel like I am doing better when it comes to my anxiety and then there are days like today. So here it is the day in the life of an anxious mommy...
I think it all started last night, I just couldn't sleep. I tossed, turned, and had crazy dreams. You know the kind where you don't know what it going on but something is totally freaking you out. Do you have those dreams? Is it only me? Anyway...
I felt like I was doing good this morning. A little out of it but okay. Maybe it was at church talking about how my son is starting Kindergarten soon and I am freaking out. I mean seriously freaking out, I asked my husband if I could just home-school him!
Maybe it was stopping on the way home to look at minivans. Sure we have talked about them, even looked at them, but recently we thought we should look again. Our 5 year old told us he was going to open a restaurant/ grocery business to make money so that we can get a mini van. How many 5 years old do you know that want to work so they can get a mini van. He is very logical about it too. He told us his plan and reasoning for why he wants a van. I think we have a business man in the making. He already sold some of his art to grandma for $5! It even came with a stain from his lunch! Back to the anxious day....
After we got home I started making breakfast for lunch that is when I started to feel it. Right in the middle of cooking the bacon my chest started to feel tight. I had a little cough. This is when the thoughts start.
You know those scenes in a movie where the character is thinking and nervous about something. The camera seems to zoom in and out like a panicked heartbeat. Imagine that! These are my thoughts...
Oh no my I feel like I can't breath and I am coughing. I am dying. How fast can we get the the hospital? Is this something serious? Am I having a panic attack? Is it a pulmonary embolism? (I totally just looked up how to spell that.) Is this gas? Heart burn? Did I eat something wrong?
All these thoughts go through my head in maybe 2 minutes. Finally I can't take it any more. I am freaking myself out by just thinking. The panic is getting worse! I break down and call my dad. I tell him what is going on. Ask all the questions going through my head. Phew! He knows what I am talking about. He has been there. That makes me feel better!
After lunch the panic still hasn't gone away. I don't think the bacon, egg, and biscuit helped. (I am still a believer in food affecting mood.) I decide I am not going to clean right now. (if I had my way I would never clean) Instead I sit down to watch Jumanji with my family. Should I mention that this is a movie that kinda freaks me out and I try to avoid watching it! So we get through the movie, its not so bad.
Still I am feeling anxious. I decide that I am going to go downstairs and walk a bit on the new treadmill. That is one of the reasons that we got it. When I am anxious I will have a place to get out some of the nervous energy. It works, I feel great! I come back upstairs and make a youtube video. Edit two videos and upload them. I also finished the teacher gifts I was working on.
Someone asked me once what my anxiety triggers are, ummm... Everything! So after a short time and some mild physical discomfort, most likely from working out or eating crap, I am freaking out again.
I swear something that would be so small to someone else my mind turns into a major health event. I seriously think my doctors think I am crazy. Okay I will admit it I am a little.
I have had people tell me how great it is that I share how I feel and my crazy anxiousness. If I didn't have an outlet like this or youtube I don't know what I would do. Have you ever noticed that just talking about something or writing it down makes you realize how silly it is?
So here I am at the end of the day. After a glass of wine, some irritability, and lots of Taylor Swift (she seems to make everything better) I am feeling okay. Let's see how tomorrow goes....
Sunday, May 24, 2015
Sunday, May 17, 2015
What Could You Do In 30 Days
What could you accomplish in 30 days if you had nothing stopping you? This is a question I have heard several times and I have always come up with an answer but never followed through. I decided once I was going to take a picture every day to see my progress as I lost weight. I lasted 2 weeks.
When it came to my all juice cleanse I lasted, I think, about 5 hours. I actually did good eating clean, I made it 3 weeks. Then a friend made a comment on how hard it is to go places when eating like that and it was all over for me.
Sure there have been times I have followed through on things. After I graduated college I worked like crazy and took a trip to Australia and New Zealand. Another time I worked really hard and lost about 60 pounds. I felt AMAZING. Then I met my husband, moved away from my family, got depressed, and gained it all back. Okay so I may have had 3 little boys in that time.
So here is the deal I know my reason to lose the weight, to get healthy. I don't need to be a size 6 I just want to be healthy and have energy around my boys. If you have little boys or have seen little boys you know they have lots of energy! My problem is that I need the motivation. I need someone to be walking along side me telling me to keep going. I know it may be asking a lot but I need to hear from the people going through the same thing as me.
My challenge to you is to take some thing you want to accomplish and for the next 30 days work on it. If you reach your goal before 30 days that is awesome but the point is to start. Is it 30 days of no pop ( or soda, depending on where you live), 30 days of no fried food, 30 days of working out, 30 days of no carbs, or no sugar? Whatever it is, whatever you want to accomplish lets get started. I have a lot I would like to do for this little challenge, eat clean, no dairy, exercise everyday, or get up early. I am going to choose one. Hopefully completely one will get me motivated on the others. For the next 30 days I am going to jump on the treadmill for 30 minutes everyday.
Find a friend or loved one who is willing to do this challenge with you. It makes it easier when you have someone who can keep you encouraged and motivated. Plus you can have a little competition with a reward at the end! So let me know what your challenge is. What can I do to keep you motivated? I'm excited to see what we can accomplish in 30 days! Keep some kind of journal so you can look back some day.
I am going to try to post daily either her on my blog or on youtube.com so make sure you check back to see how things are going!
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkRo-KrjQ5Mc_gleFGeqpsg
When it came to my all juice cleanse I lasted, I think, about 5 hours. I actually did good eating clean, I made it 3 weeks. Then a friend made a comment on how hard it is to go places when eating like that and it was all over for me.
Sure there have been times I have followed through on things. After I graduated college I worked like crazy and took a trip to Australia and New Zealand. Another time I worked really hard and lost about 60 pounds. I felt AMAZING. Then I met my husband, moved away from my family, got depressed, and gained it all back. Okay so I may have had 3 little boys in that time.
So here is the deal I know my reason to lose the weight, to get healthy. I don't need to be a size 6 I just want to be healthy and have energy around my boys. If you have little boys or have seen little boys you know they have lots of energy! My problem is that I need the motivation. I need someone to be walking along side me telling me to keep going. I know it may be asking a lot but I need to hear from the people going through the same thing as me.
My challenge to you is to take some thing you want to accomplish and for the next 30 days work on it. If you reach your goal before 30 days that is awesome but the point is to start. Is it 30 days of no pop ( or soda, depending on where you live), 30 days of no fried food, 30 days of working out, 30 days of no carbs, or no sugar? Whatever it is, whatever you want to accomplish lets get started. I have a lot I would like to do for this little challenge, eat clean, no dairy, exercise everyday, or get up early. I am going to choose one. Hopefully completely one will get me motivated on the others. For the next 30 days I am going to jump on the treadmill for 30 minutes everyday.
Find a friend or loved one who is willing to do this challenge with you. It makes it easier when you have someone who can keep you encouraged and motivated. Plus you can have a little competition with a reward at the end! So let me know what your challenge is. What can I do to keep you motivated? I'm excited to see what we can accomplish in 30 days! Keep some kind of journal so you can look back some day.
I am going to try to post daily either her on my blog or on youtube.com so make sure you check back to see how things are going!
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkRo-KrjQ5Mc_gleFGeqpsg
Tuesday, May 5, 2015
Moving with Preschoolers and an Infant
So you have decided to move. That is awesome! Oh but you have kids. Well that makes it a little harder. There are some things you can do to make this process a little easier and somethings you really shouldn't do. Here are a few of the things I learned, some the hard way.
Six years ago my husband and I decided we were going to move. After 3 kids, lots of open houses, 4 different towns, and 1 failed offer we finally found a house. This past weekend we moved in, okay so our garage is full of boxes but we can live in the house! It was a crazy weekend but we were able to get through.
Before you list your house for sale get most of the toys out of the house. I went through all our toys and picked the ones that they played with the most to keep in the house. This will also make it easier when you are cleaning for open houses, they don't have as much to make a mess with! On the day of the open house find something fun to keep them occupied. We have a local children's museum that was great to keep them distracted.
Once your house sells comes the packing. Pick a room and pack it. I tried to pack the rooms where I could keep an eye on them. If you need to have a babysitter come and watch your children while you pack rooms. We had someone come to our house and watch our boys while I packed and clean their rooms.
The easiest thing to do is to have someone watch your children. For us our parents switched off watching our 2 oldest children. I used a baby carrier for our youngest.
My son was so disappointed that he was not able to help us move so I wanted to do something special for him. I had special pajamas for their first night in the new house and a Lego sets to help keep them busy while we were busy putting things away.
Back to the move. So the day of the move I strapped my son onto my back and got started helping with the moving. I will be honest I learned that moving while wearing an infant was not the easiest thing to do. I felt like I did a lot of directing and not as much moving. This also made it so that my son did not want to be held by anyone but me.
After we got most of our things to the new house I took him out of the carrier and let him play on the floor. I learned through a very unpleasant experience to make sure that there is always someone watching the children. It is easy to think someone is watching a child and they think someone else is watching.
Include the kids in the process. Sure they may not be able to help you move the couch into the house but they can carry the cushions! They feel a part of the process and this can make things a lot easier.
My final piece of advice is when you are deciding what toys to keep and what toys to donate make sure you do this when the kids aren't around. It is easy to look at a toy they haven't played with in a while and decide that you are going to get rid of it. The problem is while you see a toy they no longer like they see a toy they forgot about and love once again.
So here we are in a new house with a garage full of boxes. I have 30 days to clean out our garage or Goodwill is going to get a huge donation. Wish me luck!
Six years ago my husband and I decided we were going to move. After 3 kids, lots of open houses, 4 different towns, and 1 failed offer we finally found a house. This past weekend we moved in, okay so our garage is full of boxes but we can live in the house! It was a crazy weekend but we were able to get through.
Before you list your house for sale get most of the toys out of the house. I went through all our toys and picked the ones that they played with the most to keep in the house. This will also make it easier when you are cleaning for open houses, they don't have as much to make a mess with! On the day of the open house find something fun to keep them occupied. We have a local children's museum that was great to keep them distracted.
Once your house sells comes the packing. Pick a room and pack it. I tried to pack the rooms where I could keep an eye on them. If you need to have a babysitter come and watch your children while you pack rooms. We had someone come to our house and watch our boys while I packed and clean their rooms.
The easiest thing to do is to have someone watch your children. For us our parents switched off watching our 2 oldest children. I used a baby carrier for our youngest.
My son was so disappointed that he was not able to help us move so I wanted to do something special for him. I had special pajamas for their first night in the new house and a Lego sets to help keep them busy while we were busy putting things away.
Back to the move. So the day of the move I strapped my son onto my back and got started helping with the moving. I will be honest I learned that moving while wearing an infant was not the easiest thing to do. I felt like I did a lot of directing and not as much moving. This also made it so that my son did not want to be held by anyone but me.
After we got most of our things to the new house I took him out of the carrier and let him play on the floor. I learned through a very unpleasant experience to make sure that there is always someone watching the children. It is easy to think someone is watching a child and they think someone else is watching.
Include the kids in the process. Sure they may not be able to help you move the couch into the house but they can carry the cushions! They feel a part of the process and this can make things a lot easier.
My final piece of advice is when you are deciding what toys to keep and what toys to donate make sure you do this when the kids aren't around. It is easy to look at a toy they haven't played with in a while and decide that you are going to get rid of it. The problem is while you see a toy they no longer like they see a toy they forgot about and love once again.
So here we are in a new house with a garage full of boxes. I have 30 days to clean out our garage or Goodwill is going to get a huge donation. Wish me luck!
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